Bray-Missionaries.org: Lady Bird, Laura Bush and their warrior husbands

By Dr. Bill Bray

AS BILL AND IVY BRAY reaffirms their marriage vows on their Silver Anniversary, they are using an edited summary of the original. However, it is interesting to look back on the actual covenant. It was first repeated at the altar of the Gary Memorial Church in Wheaton a few weeks before the wedding on August 7, 1982.

It was so important to the young missionary couple that they wrote it out by hand after long hours of discussion. A final draft can be found in the back cover of Bill’s Prayer and Planning Diary for 1982 but even that version bears last-minute edits in both their handwritings—including notes in shorthand by Ivy.

Here is the original, unedited text as it appears. While not politically correct then (or today!) it has served them well over the years. The Brays think it is still a good model for any couple seeking to serve the Lord together.

I. FAITHFULNESS AND LOYALTY

We vow to prefer each other above all others, and refuse to enter any intimate sharing relationship with individuals of the opposite sex. The exception being of course, are relationships of deep friendship that we make as a couple with other individuals or couples. This does preclude us from obeying the Holy Spirit as He leads us individuals into spontaneous, one-time witnessing and counseling ministry.

Divinia further vows to be loyal and supportive to William and lead the family into united solidarity with William in all conflicts or forming of alliances. We vow to vote as a unit and act as a unit in all things.

We agree to avoid any actions which might provoke the other mate to jealousy or insecurity in our relationship.

II. LEADERSHIP/FOLLOWSHIP ROLES

We vow to obey the Biblical pattern of husband/wife relationship, i.e. that the husband will provide loving leadership to the wife and that the wife will be the supportive follower. The portions of scripture in I Corinthians 13, Proverbs 31, I Peter and Ephesians 5 are the key

Divinia pledges to do nothing competitive towards William ministry but to free him from routine duties so that he can better pursue progressive executive actions. William is to play the dominant role in the family and Divinia pledges to give him every possible support in directing the family. In other words, Divinia is to be the “helpmeet.”

It is our fullest intention that our marriage be one of service to Christ together as a team in whatever the Lord calls William to do. However, the extent of Divinia’s day-to-day activity in the work of God, and for exact job description is determined by William with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

III. THE BIBLE IS GUIDE, NOT CULTURE

We vow to govern our relationships according to scripture rather than American or Philippine culture, customs, values, traditions, or mores.

IV. DISOBEDIENCE, REBELLION, CONFLICT

In the case of rebellion, or any conflict, William agrees to confront Divinia in private and discuss his feelings and vice-versa. If Divinia feels uncomfortable with immediate obedience, she should not play psychological games or use emotional blackmail to get her way.

V. FORGIVENESS

We agree that we’ll have a totally open and forgiving relationship so that either mate can feel free to confess any sin to each other at any time and receive forgiveness and acceptance.

VI. PERMANENCY

We covenant to work daily to keep our love (and passion) as alive and fresh as it is now…and to see our love grow to its fullest in the years ahead. We covenant to maintain this pledge for as long as both us is alive on earth

VII. DEVOTIONAL LIFE

We vow to spend at least one hour a day together in joint prayer and Bible study. When separate, we will continue to practice this piety as individuals. It is our intention to have an effective intercessory prayer ministry together that helps us to apply our faith to specific goals.

VIII. PHYSICAL RELATIONS

We covenant to work hard to provide complete physical satisfaction to the other at all times. Except for times when we both agree to refrain, neither of us will deny the others sexual drive within the limits of Biblical morality.

Furthermore, we covenant to look our best for each other at all times. Whatever our circumstances, we vow to work together to make our lives and ministry full of beauty, grace and style.

XI. ESTEEMING

We vow to actively look for the best in each other, and sincerely appreciate and compliment each other regularly. Even in times of trial, we will seek to find qualities to appreciate in each other.

To William, Divinia covenants to obey with respect and love.

To Divinia, William covenants to love and respect her feelings – to understand her ideas, suggestions and total needs in his decision-making.

X. SHARING

We covenant to share as much of our lives and time with each other as possible. For example, we will try to travel together frequently for both business/ministry and pleasure. Plus, we will spend as much time of our leisure time together. Regarding material things, we will share all 100% with each other.

XI. COMUNICATION

We covenant to communicate lovingly with each other in a way that creates openness and respect. We agree to take the time needed to communicate without anger, threats, or negative discouraging words. We want our communication to always uplift and encourage one another. However, we will always try to speak the truth in love.

XII. NEW FAMILY

We vow to forsake all other covenants and alliances to form a new family.

Tax-deductible contributions for the support of Bill & Ivy's Missionary Ministry may be given online, or should be sent to CIS, INC. MISSIONS, P.O. Box 6511, Charlottesville, VA 22906. THANK YOU.